To Babble or Not to Babble

So, this is pregnancy. Waking up at 5 hours of sleep to NEED to do something. Doing something and then sleeping for another 5 hours. Rambling thoughts that go everywhere, but when I try to remember where I've been, it's blank. No complete awareness of what's going on around me no matter how hard I concentrate at times. I don't trust myself driving. My memory is a sieve and I'm so not used to it - any of it. It consumed most of my waking thoughts - am I getting enough vitamins? have I already done irreversible damage? is it a boy or a girl? am I going to be strong enough when I need to be? will I remember the pain? will I resent my baby for the loss of time for me? can I trust myself?

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Where Did I Go?


I just realized that I missed some pretty major events in the lives of close friends of mine in the past few months. This seems to happen more frequently these days. I'll be the first to admit that I've been pretty caught up in my own life and not paying much mind to others. And by that, I mean on Facebook, because if I received a call or email from someone, I always made time to chat.

Facebook seems to have become too big for me. Yep, me - the woman who couldn't keep her computer off her lap for more than half an hour. I don't even know what over half my friends are doing even though statuses are being updated regularly, photos added, etc. I went through an exercise of looking through months of statuses on a few friends to find out how they've been and what they've been doing. Is it considered being a bad friend to not follow on Facebook? My friends are telling me (and all their other friends) exactly what they are up to all the time. There now seems to be a social obligation to find out through social networking - blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc. rather than anything personal. Telling everyone means telling each individual even if the individual doesn't read it - bad non-reading friend. If it hadn't been for others, I wouldn't have known some friends were in Saskatoon from California and Calgary this weekend. I'm very grateful that I actually spoke to people who had noticed otherwise I might have missed the whole thing.

So in short, I think I was abducted by aliens for a while and had a pod person going through the motions for me. I have some sporadic memories, but mostly just boring stuff. Sorry everyone, I didn't mean to ignore you. Blame the aliens. ::grin::

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I'm quirky, confident and happy. My friends say I'm generous, warm, reliable, and dependable. My mom, dad, and angel say I'm beautiful. I'm not perfect, but that makes me human.

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